the liminal life

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30 by 30

If you know me irl or have been following along for a bit, you might know about my #30by30 goal — I wanted to visit 30 countries before turning 30. I’m happy to report that in October, I hit my goal!

People have a lot of different ideas of what turning 30 would look like for them. Maybe it’s a milestone like marriage, a kid, that perfect job, or buying your first house. For me, there was only one goal that I decided on in my early 20s that I actually stuck to: I wanted to visit 30 different countries by the time I turned 30.

When I originally decided on this, it was simply because I had fallen in love with exploring new places, “30 by 30” was catchy, and it seemed like as good a goal as any to strive for. As I got older and busier, it became more meaningful. It transformed from “I need to hit 30 by 30!” into “I need to carve out the time, save the money, and prioritize experiencing more of the world because it’s something that I love to do” ⏤ and that matters.

I turned 30 last October and was able to pull off one last trip to hit my 30th country (Greece was incredible and it deserves its own blog post eventually). It’s got me in my feels in a lot of ways, probably because I’m still reckoning with the fact that I’m in my THIRTIES now, but I’ve been thinking a lot about this goal and what it meant to me.

I’ve been very very lucky and privileged enough to have the opportunities I’ve had to see the world. It helps that my family are all big travelers as well. The conversation at any family dinner will eventually turn to where we all headed to next and everyone is full of advice. But I’ve also made it my own top priority. I’ve saved, budgeted, and arranged my life in a way to be able to get out and see as much of the world as possible. Part of my decision to follow my boyfriend to New York was that it’s a huge international hub. Part of my career decisions are the work from home and PTO policies. I’ve spent a lot of money on travel and I’ve also gotten very good at finding deals, good flights, and planning out a trip to maximize my time in a new place. A combination of sheer will power and a lot of blessings helped to make hitting my goal possible. I’m so grateful for everyone who let me tag along on one of their trips, rolled with it when I booked tickets without asking them (love you boyfriend!), or helped plan or encourage me.

Experiencing different ways of life taught me a lot about the world but also about myself. That’s real Eat Pray Love, I know, but it’s the truth. I have a different view point of myself as an American, as a queer person, and as a white dude than I had in my teenage years. When your world is so small and you’re only surrounded by people who look and think like you do, you don’t grow. From walking home from the clubs at 7am in Spain to seeing how a regular person lives a day of their life in Tashkent to learning about the harsh realities queer people face in Morocco — these experiences have, for lack of better words, widened my horizons.

I recognize that I get to dip in and out of different cultures, come back home, write a silly little blog post, and share some content about said cultures while the lives of the people in these countries keep going. So many entirely unique ways of life exist all the time around the globe, not just ”the American way,” and it’s extremely humbling to get to be a part of these worlds — even if just for a few days as a tourist. It has made me much more empathic and I truly think I’ve become a better person for it. So I try to take all the lessons and things I’ve learned and channel them back into the world.

30 down, but so much more to see and eat and learn and experience. Thank you so much for following along.

Onward!

PS, in case you were wondering, the rules that I created for myself were 1) I had to leave the airport and spend at least a day exploring a country for it count and 2) a “country” would be a place that has an ISO “country code” (which is a more inclusive list of 249 countries). Places like Aruba have its own unique culture and history — just because the island is technically part of the Netherlands doesn’t mean it’s not its own country. Also, it’s my made up goal, so I make the rules :) so in chronological order, I visited: 

1. Mexico 🇲🇽

2. Canada 🇨🇦

3. Poland 🇵🇱

4. Czech Republic 🇨🇿

5. Costa Rica 🇨🇷

6. Laos 🇱🇦

7. Thailand 🇹🇭

8. Spain 🇪🇸

9. Portugal 🇵🇹

10. Morocco 🇲🇦

11. Ireland 🇮🇪

12. France 🇫🇷

13. Belgium 🇧🇪

14. Netherlands 🇳🇱

15. Italy 🇮🇹

16. United Kingdom 🇬🇧

17. Uzbekistan 🇺🇿

18. India 🇮🇳

19. Iceland 🇮🇸

20. Croatia 🇭🇷

21. Bosnia and Herzegovina 🇧🇦

22. Denmark 🇩🇰

23. South Korea 🇰🇷

24. Aruba 🇦🇼

25. Luxembourg 🇱🇺

26. Hong Kong 🇭🇰

27. Macao 🇲🇴

28. Antigua and Barbuda 🇦🇬

29. Curaçao 🇨🇼

30. Greece 🇬🇷